APRIL FOOLS 2024 – BATMAN

Gotham City, Batman's city.

Tales of Gotham (WIP)

When Avery got up for bed that morning, she hadn’t expected her day to go much different than usual. Get up, get her sister to school, go to work, maybe get mugged, pick up her sister, go home, repeat. It had become a routine. A normal in a city of chaos. Peace. But of course, Gotham can’t let her have any semblance of peace.

It started when the weird kid in the trenchcoat walked into the diner. In hindsight, maybe she should’ve known. The kid (?) was all covered up, clearly hiding something. But honestly? It was Crime Alley. Suspicious people were practically the norm here. Even if it hadn’t been, it wasn’t like Avery was about to go spend her time calling up the police on your average Gotham homeless guy (in her eyes, at the time). Every second she spent away from her tables was another cent lost from her tips. So instead, she merely watched him out of the corner of her eye.

The kid chose a booth in the back corner, out of Avery’s section. The woman didn’t mind since she didn’t like serving kids anyway (Dealing with her sister was enough). Admittedly, her curiosity was piqued. Even as she served old Mr. and Mrs. Martin (They always took an hour looking at the menu, even when everyone knew they’d just order their usual), she kept an ear out. He was mumbling to himself, which was normal enough for Gotham. Hopefully, he wasn’t fear-gassed or laughing-gassed or whatever Gotham’s psych-ward residents villains had come up with lately. Audrey always hated calling those in– not just because it took up her time as a server, but also because it was sad to watch the first responders remove them from the premises. So sad and terribly pathetic. As Audrey watched him though, she noticed he didn’t have any of the symptoms. No smiling or uncontrollable laughter, no red lips, no unnaturally green hair or pale skin. Okay. Not Joker Venom. But then he didn’t seem afraid either. So… not fear toxin either.

As she pondered it, she realized she’d been staring too long. He looked up and they briefly made eye contact. She shifted her gaze away and turned back to the Martin couple. She gave them her best customer service smile as Mr Martin began rattling off his order as his wife played some variant of candy crush on her phone.

“…You hear that, missy? I want them pancakes with the extra syrup!”

Avery’s eye twitched. She could feel the kid staring at her. She also resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the old man.

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

Did the kid expect her to serve him? She hoped not. This was what she got for being nosy in Gotham. It never went well. She brushed off his earlier mumbling as him maybe talking to someone on the phone even though she hadn’t seen him with a phone when he walked in.

Avery shuffled in her spot, growing more anxious. Why was he watching her? Had she done something? For some odd reason, his gaze made her feel as if she was guilty. She hadn’t committed any crimes lately, though the kid’s constant stare tempted her. Like, come on! The worst thing she had done today was not mind her own business. Maybe in Gotham that could be considered a crime, but cut her some slack. A waitress’ job was to not mind her own business. It wasn’t like Batman or any of his little buddies were gonna come arrest her for it.

After listening to Mrs Martin tell Avery her order (scrambled eggs with ketchup and hashbrowns, surprisingly), Avery decided she couldn’t take it anymore. She wasn’t going to be tormented by some brat in her little sister’s grade who probably couldn’t even ride a bike. Just as she turned to walk over to the kid, she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

“Hey, you–” She started. and ended, trailing off.

A flash of light blue.

oh. oh no.

“GET DOWN,” One of her coworkers screamed.

Living in Gotham, the motion was almost instinct. Working at the diner, her knees were practically best friends with the floor (for some reason, the diner was a perfect target for villainy. She had once served one Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn).

As the window smashed, she briefly saw the kid get up. Why was he doing the opposite of what they were supposed to do? She hadn’t been able to think further before a putrid smell reached her nose.

The HORROR.

The diner would never be able to recover from this.

Avery felt it before she heard it. She nearly gagged in disgust. Mustard. If there was truly any gods out there, they were cruel.

She took that thought back almost immediately as the kid in the corner stood and took off his trench coat, revealing the yellow, green, black, and red of his suit. Robin.